Are you tired of going out on several dates with the same person only to discover that this is not the person for you?
You
know how it goes. You go on a few dates and think, maybe, there is
something here for me. Then you find out this person doesn't wnat the
same things you do. If your goal was finding a prospective life mate,
you just wasted several weeks.
Find out in 5 Minutes
What
if you could find out in 5 minutes whether a new person has the
potential to be the love of your life? Would you like to know how to do
that? It is possible and really easy.One of the important skill sets in
Conscious Dating includes scouting, sorting, screening, and testing.
Scouting is looking around, out in the world, for people to whom you are attracted.
Sorting is having conversations that tell you whether this is a person worth pursuing
Screening is doing things together and having longer conversations that tell you whether someone could be a life partner.
Testing is doing life together to see if this is doable over the long haul.
In
the Sorting stage, your initial conversations are where you can
potentially find the love of your life in just five minutes. At least
you can surely know who is not going to be the love of your life.
Further, when you live your core values you can easily see how others
respond to you.
Introduction Power
The
power introduction is a casual conversation with powerful intentions.
This does not mean that you simply ask someone a list of questions and
judge them on their answers. Instead, you bring up, in casual
conversation, topics that reflect your values, what is important to
you, and then you pay attention to the kinds of responses you receive.
For
example, Lets say you are a single parent. If you just met someone you
think you might want to get to know better, you could mention that you
have children and all the time you spend with them. If this person
responds, “children are a pain! How can you stand that? I like dogs”
then you can quickly know not to pursue this any further.
If,
on the other hand, the response is, “Wow, how much fun is that! You
must have a really good time with them,” then this might be worth
pursuing.
(Just a side note- Too often, singe parents have
a concern that being a parent will be a burden to meeting the right
person. In fact, since your children are a huge part of your life,
making their existence and importance known right away will help screen
out people quickly. This is what you want! Don't try to hide them until
the "right time". The first meeting is the right time!)
Here are some other possible scenarios that can help you quickly sort prospective partners.
To
see how others respond to humor, share a joke, pun, or riddle. When
they hear it, pay attention to the way they respond. Are they quiet and
expressionless, or do they laugh, smile, or share humor of their own?
Do they get angry or defensive, or do they appreciate the humor?
To
see how others respond to play, You can tease them playfully. For
instance, while playing tennis, you could try to distract them by
making a funny face. How will they respond? Will they smile or laugh?
Will they make a face back? Or, will they get angry, defensive, or
resentful?
To see how others communicate, engage them in
discussions. Can they participate, can they listen actively without
interrupting, and can they dialog or negotiate when the going gets
tough?
Let’s say travel is really important to you.
For someone to be right for you, he or she would need to share this
interest as well. Imagine you’re on your fourth date and thinking this
relationship could go somewhere. But, when you mention your love of
travel, your date tells you he or she is a homebody and absolutely
hates to travel. Aren’t you glad to find this out early on rather than
stumble on this information five months from now?
At the very
least, using the “casual conversation with powerful intentions”
strategy can save you time. At the very best, this strategy can help
you find the love of your life.
The tough part is to stick to
your guns. If you have begun to get involved with someone and find that
your questions have led you to realize this person is not s good
prospect- you have to be willing to move on. That’s why doing this
quickly is the best way- and a skill that you can learn with practice.